What does Christmas really mean?

"Why do we have Christmas Mummy?" Aren't these the questions that make you squirm a bit as a parent?

I have to bite my tongue to avoid an inappropriate or sarcastic response like: "So shops can make a lot more money off people who buy more stuff than they need and more food than they can eat." Sometimes I think I am Scrooge's distant relation - bah humbug.

Which is really far from the truth. I love Christmas. Mostly I love the fact it's the one time of year where you have permission to really turn off and relax. I love being with my family and seeing friends and, yes, I like the gift giving and the food.

But I have two problems with this holiday season.

First - I am an atheist or at best agnostic. I feel a certain sense of spirituality and an interconnectedness of things. But I am not a fan of organised religion if I am honest. And I feel bad for those who don't celebrate Christmas and yet are bombarded with Christmas messaging every year - not to mention Mariah Carey Christmas singles. So when Bear asks why we celebrate Christmas I find myself explaining in a rather awkward and unconvincing manner. And talking in terms of stories that others believe but not necessarily his good old Mum.

Now Bear is no idiot so this can be dangerous territory. "If you don't believe in the story of Jesus Mum why do you celebrate Christmas?" Good question young man - ah look is that the time, surely there is some event I need to drop you off at.

I celebrate Christmas because I want to give thanks for all that I have: for my family and friends who I love and cherish, for my health, my work, my home, everything. Thanksgiving is really the holiday I need in my life.

Second I really hate the Christmas crazy. The shopping trolleys filled to overflowing in the toy sales in July. The unbridled consumerism that makes the greenie inside cringe and the bank balance look decidely ill. The stress and strain as families and friends run to one event and then another seeing each other, celebrating and generally wearing themselves out to near collapse as the big day approaches.

This year I think I feel I've succumbed more than I would have liked to the Christmas crazy. But compared to others I've probably survived relatively unscathed.  I definitely took too much on in the run up, left too much making to the last minute and, as ever, failed to factor in all the gifts for teachers, carers, classmates etc.

I've tried to compensate by giving handmade, simple things like reindeer food for Bear and Bean's classmates* - cheap, a great craft activity for the kids and not another plastic, sweet, chocolately thing for their classmates to take home.

We've also tried to follow the:
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read
code of Christmas shopping for the boys. Their Santa sacks won't be overflowing but they will contain things that I know will see love and action all year round. And that makes me happy.

So Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, out there. Whatever it means to you, I hope this time of year is filled with happiness, good food, good friends, family you love and all the things you are thankful for.

* I eliminated the sugar and used glitter instead. I love that this "recipe" is posted on a food website.

Dear America, I'm sorry but I just don't get it

On the weekend a troubled (I am guessing, it is unclear but surely one has to be troubled to do this kind of thing) young man walked into a school, and killed people. Not just one person, but more than 20 people. The majority of them kids aged six and seven years old. Bear's age. His friends age.

Like many parents I guess, hearing the news tore at my heart and made me hug my darling boys all the closer. But as I've listened to the news and read the online commentary I've become increasingly frustrated.

I'm sorry America but I just don't get it. I don't get how owning a gun can be more important that public safety. I don't understand why the average person should be able to buy a gun and ammunition at the supermarket. I don't understand why semi-automatic weapons should be kept at home.

I don't get how America can claim to be the greatest country on the planet and almost routinely be "rocked" by this sort of travesty. Platitudes, words of sorrow, candlelight vigils are insufficient responses to the death of 20 children. Rage, anger, action of some kind whether it be lobbying government or taking the fight - dare I say it - to those who think gun ownership is a fundamental right. That would be more appropriate.

And coupled with that, surely, a serious look at why social services in America keep failing those families and individuals dealing with mental illness. Surely universal health care - if it could help prevent more people falling through the net and not getting the treatment and support they need - is worth it. Surely the loss of 27 more lives is too high a price to pay comparative to the costs of universal health care.

Something terrible happened in America on the weekend. As I hold tightly to my boys before sending them to school I am grateful that such a terrible thing is almost unthinkable here.